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3 Incredibly Effective Tools to Overcome the Fear of Abandonment

The fear of abandonment can paralyse and lead to destruction. Discover and use some proven tools to overcome this challenge.

the fear of abandonment can be like a waterfall

Last week you could read my article about the fear of abandonment and meet the monster. Today I will present you some proven tools to use. They are based on holistic science and should be used collectively.

I have tested these tools thoroughly, together with the people I have helped so far. You can be sure that since you start using these tools, the quality of your life will improve and never be the same again.

How to Tame the Fear of Abandonment

Firstly. I will write about three major categories of tools that can be used to combat the fear of abandonment. They include mental health, self-help and energy cleansing. Each of these categories has some sub-tools. Later, you will find more tools, so keep reading. Let's start with communication:

1. Talk to Someone to Resolve the Fear of Abandonment

The first tool is based on self-help and other techniques used to improve your mental health. Sometimes you do need to consult a professional. However, always start with self-care.

Talk to Someone

Before you address your problem with a professional, share it with your trusted friend. He or she may help you to cast the fear out of your chest and change your mindset.

However, in some cases, you do need to contact a psychologist or a psychiatrist, just because your friends may not be educated enough to describe the monster. To have a fair idea about the fear of abandonment, check my last article.

What Can a Professional Do?

They may apply some specific types of therapy, which are especially helpful in the case of the fear of abandonment. For example:

  • Emotionally focused therapy (EFT). EFT focuses on helping you identify your attachment style and how this style influences your relationships.

  • Dialectical behaviour therapy (DBT). This technique will teach you emotion regulation skills and self-soothing techniques. Professionals also use it as a common treatment for BPD read the beginning of this article to find out what BPD is).

  • Psychodynamic therapy. This approach is effective in the case of managing some personality disorders, including BPD. You will also learn to recognize behaviour patterns linked to your abandonment anxiety.

Seek Medical Treatment if You Have the Fear of Abandonment

In some cases, a consultation with a psychiatrist or a mental health nurse may be necessary, too because depression and anxiety are often linked to the fear of abandonment.

Mental health medical staff may help when the fear manifests in a severe way, which impairs your daily routine. However, I would recommend trying other holistic tools first, e.g. meditation and energy cleansing and using medical treatment as the last resort.

2. Apply Self-Help Tools

You can also use the self-help tools. There are hundreds of books about anxiety and the fear of abandonment. I have chosen only a few, but very effective tools to apply instantly.

Soothe Your Inner Child

I have written a couple of articles about the work with your inner child. You can find them below. Generally writing, it is very beneficial to know and have a good rapport with your inner child, the part of you that is often abandoned.

What can you do to make friends and cuddle your inner child? Here are some ideas:

  • Write a letter to your inner child

  • Talk to him/her aloud

  • Read them a fable made up by you, full of love and care

  • Feel the traumatic emotions and later let them go

  • Visualise that you are cuddling and soothing your inner child

  • draw a picture of this part of yourself.


Learn more about your inner child

fear of abandonment is like a deadly current of water


Practise Affirmations

There are many theories about affirmations that you can find in books and on the Internet. I just want to encourage you to use affirmations holistically, not only by engaging your mind and emotions.

Use journaling and mirror work to make the most of your affirmations. and do not forget about following your gut - intuition because the affirmations that you are reading somewhere may not resonate with you.

Sometimes you may feel resistance to identify with a given affirmation. Then use this statement:

I am willing to release the resistance to ... (the affirmation x)

In this way, you will disarm your sabotaging mind


More articles about affirmations:


3. Use Spiritual Tools to Combat the Fear of Abandonment

You may ask 'What spiritual tools can I use to combat the fear of abandonment?' Anything that cleanses and strengthens your energy field, your aura and all subtle bodies, not just the mental and emotional ones.


This is the fundament of healing the fear of abandonment. Just connect to your spiritual part of self and cleanse all your subtle bodies under the waterfall or with White Divine Light. Then recharge your batteries with the energy of Mother Earth. Now learn more about how to meditate.

Let's Meditate Together

Connect by telepathy during meditation on Saturdays at 8 pm GMT. I will meditate with you and other people so that our joint energy can create miracles. Send your intention to the Universe. Transform your life and the world.

More about meditation


Connecting to the Source/God or Higher beings like angels, guardians, Jesus, Mary, and Budda is always helpful in the case of abandonment. You are never alone, only here, in the third dimension of Earth, you can physically experience loneliness and helplessness. and only on the condition that you believe in a lack of inner power.

You can also pray to heal your subconscious mind so that it will be reprogrammed and you start believing in your strength. Reshape your mind and start a new, more positive mindset.

Energy Cleansing

Apart from praying and meditation, you can use other tools to cleanse the energy in your life and environment. Every time, after a quarrel, a visit of complainers or other victims, backbiters or anyone around whom you do not feel comfortable, use some white sage. Burn a candle/tealight to cleanse the space. Take a bath/shower with sea salt to cleanse your aura.


Learn more about energy cleansing and healing:

face the fear of abandonment like plants do


Bonus Tools to Combat the Fear of Abandonment

Apart from the tools described above in this article, try more ways. These are for very conscious beings, who are not afraid to take severe challenges, even if they fear abandonment somehow.

Practise Acceptance... No Matter What Is Happening

It may be very tough to accept unpleasant events in your life, often called misfortune, bad fate, problems, trouble etc. These labels only amplify the challenge. Accept the fear, that it occurs occasionally, but keep it under control. Never let the monster dictate its terms to you.

Practise Self-Forgiveness

We are afraid of abandonment after doing something wrong to other people. But everything is for a purpose. I do not approve of doing evil here. But in the spiritual world, everything has its place, and to forgive, someone has to do some wrong. Forgive yourself all bad decisions and learn from them instead of being your tormentor.


Learn more about forgiveness


Do Something When the Fear of Abandonment Kicks On

Sitting and weeping or being paralysed by the fear of abandonment will not help you overcome the challenge. Take some action. It is said that creation is the best medicine for fear, apart from love.

Ask yourself and answer these questions, preferably in writing:

  • Is my situation really hopeless when I am without ... (someone/something)?

  • What can I do right now to improve my situation?

  • What is the first step I can take right now?

Set Achievable Goals and Pursue Them

I wrote about taking action above but preparing a long-term strategy to combat the fear of abandonment. Setting goals is a must here. Start with daily activities. Some of them may include the tools described in this article.

Then plan your weekly, monthly and yearly goals. Use SWOT analysis and SMART techniques. Do not forget to evaluate your progress. Make setting and evaluating goals a habit.


Read more about setting goals:

holistic goals are like a strong current of the river

Credits to Crack Life.

In a Nutshell

Fear of abandonment can be controlled and transformed. You can use the following tools: meditation, prayer, affirmations, visualisation, EFT and energy cleaning. Talk to someone, a friend or a medical professional. Do not be afraid of leaving your comfort zone and face the fear. Good luck with your pursuit. With lots of love and light,



Vicky is an experienced holistic writer and coach who inspires, motivates, and encourages everyone to become the best version of themselves - physically, mentally, and spiritually.


The content of Awaken Happy Life is published for educational and informative purposes only. It does not substitute medical or any other professional advice. Please seek professional care if you believe you may have a condition. The author of Awaken Happy Life is not liable for any consequences of applying any piece of advice published on this website by the reader.


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