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3 Tricky Ways Your Ego Kills Your Happiness

Your ego can be a big challenge in holistic growth and your happy, abundant, healthy and joyful life can be sabotaged. Why does it happen?

how to overcome ego

How many times do you want to do something and think that you are not enough? What about being afraid of the consequences? of your decisions and actions What about the difficulty to let go and trust the Universe?

Beware, then your ego rules, not you. The ego is often ignored or hard to notice. But what is the mechanism that the ego uses to control your life?

What Is Ego

Let's start with psychology, the Freudian definition. The ego is something between your raw desires and your Higher Self. It keeps you locked away in your own little world, separated from the present moment.

Moreover, the ego does not have a sense of belongingness. Instead, it is based on separation, always wanting to possess and prove. You cannot experience the flow of life, being stiff and suffering discomfort.

Ego manifests by the first eight levels of consciousness described by David Hawkins, i.e., shame, guilt, apathy, grief, fear, anger, pride and greed.

Your ego also does not let the love flow., creating tension and problems within you. Everything is too dangerous, too difficult, too annoying, too discouraging, too shameful and difficult to possess.

The Three Faces of the Ego

We usually see ego as one obstacle. But the truth is different. There are at least three faces of the ego. Each of them is identified with various roles in life. and each of these faces focuses on a different emotion.

1. Lack

Anything that makes you sad, depressed, shameful and regretful because of abandonment, rejection and criticism manifests lack. Why? because if you felt complete, no disapproval or ostracism would shake your determination to work on your goals and your self-esteem would be irrepressible.

2. Attachment and Resistance to Let Go

Here, the ego will try to convince you to fight for your righteousness. Taking action will give you control over your life. However, if you stick to your way of doing things, are not flexible and cannot find a balance between taking action and letting go, this kind of ego will destroy your plans.

3. Separation

You feel separated from the Source and other beings, forced to be perfect and to control your life. Therefore, you are afraid of losing your face or of any mistake. Panic attacks, social anxiety and the desire for perfection are widespread here.

Of course, these three faces of ego can induce each other e.g., you can be afraid of criticism but also feel the urge to be perfect and stick to your way of doing the job.


In What 3 Ways Does Ego Sabotage Your Happiness?

As I wrote above, your ego can be very smart in hiding while very strong during any mental, emotional and spiritual efforts to create a happy life. Discover the areas that the ego can use to manipulate you.

1. Self-Esteem and Ego

Many people confuse the terms "ego" and "self-esteem". They assume that being confident means being selfish. But the source of confidence is the factor on which it depends if something is ego or self-esteem.

According to Shortform, "Self-esteem is based on true accomplishment, whereas ego is unwarranted and based on nothing but entitlement and imaginary validation."

So when you have truly achieved something, e.g. have written a book, or published an article, this can affect your self-esteem, However, if at the same time you think that you are entitled to praise for it, then it comes from ego.

2. Ego and Chakras

Most people think that only Solar Plexus Chakra governs the ego. It is true to some extent because pride, desire for power, recognition and anger are the domains of this chakra.

But the lower chakras can also manifest ego if unbalanced. The Root Chakra, responsible for safety and security, can emanate with fear, apathy, guilt and grief. The same applies to the Sacral Chakra when your creative, emotional and sexual life soar.

All chakras, when unbalanced, can radiate with ego frequencies but the first three are responsible for survival and are the most often used in our third dimension. Moreover, we are taught to focus on financial survival, procreation and power rather than on unconditional love, independent thinking and the true connection with the Source.

Learn how to balance your chakras:

But beware, the four higher chakras can also be infected with ego influence. If you have a minority complex of not being good enough spiritually, cannot communicate your views, not being a good clairvoyant, or healer, not connecting to God or not being able to love enough - then your Throat, Third Eye, heart and Crown chakras are blocked, too.

3. The Mental Aspect of Ego

It is all in your mind. For example, it concerns jealousy, desire, and fear but also joy and love. Plus, your relationships, looks or achievements. All of these things are attached to "I".

Notice how many times you use sentences starting with "I", describing your emotions and things/people in your life. Each time, this is your ego's projection. And how attached you are to each statement, i.e., believing how much true it is about yourself.

By conditioning, your mind creates a personality or sense of self, that judges, reacts and interacts with other personalities in the world, especially with those having the same vibrations.

Is Ego Necessary in Our Life?

Surprisingly, the ego is a necessary part of our existence. Everything in the Universe has its purpose. For example, you need a hurdle like ego to polish your strength and commitment to live in the values of Light.

Why Is Ego a Problem?

However, the ego CAN be a challenge. If not kept under control, it will cause the following negative consequences in your life:

  • The ego causes rivalry and competition.

  • Greed, possessiveness, and rat race are present in your life.

  • The ego kills relationships, health and abundance.

  • Illnesses - by not letting go of grudges, holding fear, anger and grief.

  • Discomfort and stiffness because of constant control, attachment or lack.

  • Resistance to change also causes illness.

  • Minority complex (the "lack" ego).

  • Living below your real level of happiness and fulfilment to prove your value.

  • Negative vibrations -all the levels of consciousness below Courage (fear, shame, apathy, guilt, grief, desire, anger and pride).

Does Ego Help in Any Way?

The ego is necessary for your growth. as it drives you to take action and make an effort. Would you do a job out of ego or of compassion or love? Of course because of ego, i.e. to be recognized, accepted, to belong to a given community, to avoid ostracism and abandonment.

Ego keeps you going when discouragement and the willingness to resing kick on. Moreover, some masters state that ego can counteract depression (provided that you are not fixed totally on longing for others' approval). Learn more about how to combat depression.

how to recognize ego being by the river

How to Recognise Ego

Some spiritual and self-help teachers, like Eckhart Tolle, are known for the idea of living in the present. Here are his famous quotes:

“Realize deeply that the present moment is all you have. Make the NOW the primary focus of your life.” — Eckhart Tolle

“The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but your thoughts about it.” — Eckhart Tolle

“A genuine relationship is one that is not dominated by the ego with its image-making and self-seeking. In a genuine relationship, there is an outward flow of open, alert attention toward the other person in which there is no wanting whatsoever.” — Eckhart Tolle

Hence, whenever any of your thoughts or emotions start to sabotage your life, answer the question:

  • Is it about the present or the past, or the future?

If your answers are "the past" or "the future", then your thought or emotion is overpowered by your ego. Another question is:

  • How well do you identify with your health, emotions, social status, family or wealth?

The more often and the stronger it manifests, the more you are ensnared by the ego, which continuously needs to feed and identify with forms to survive and strengthen its false sense of self.

Then ask about the quality of emotions:

  • Is there shame, guilt, anger, pride, apathy and grief present here?

Any of these emotions are the symptoms of ego. You can also test your attachment to people or things:

  • How much would you feel complete losing your looks, physical independence health due to ageing, illness or an accident, or if you lost your spouse, child, your house, went bankrupt, were unemployed, or robbed?

The more complete you feel in each of these cases, the less influence ego has on your life. Of course, you are entitled to enjoy your career, good health, loving relationships or house. But beware that they may be lost one day. And this is another reason to live in the present.

The less attached you are to your fitness, age, relationships, health or wealth the less you will suffer if the loss occurs. Otherwise, are at risk of filling the void with sexual pleasures, overeating or gambling.

Let's Practise Meditation

Connecting with Higher beings will help you to recognise the mechanisms of ego instantly. You can also cleanse your subtle bodies and empower your body, mind and soul with Divine Light and the energy of Mother Earth. Discover more secrets of meditation.

Let's Meditate Together

Connect by telepathy during meditation on Saturdays at 8 pm GMT. I will meditate with you and other people so that our joint energy can create miracles. Send your intention to the Universe. Transform your life and the world.

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In a Nutshell

The ego can be detected, pacified and transformed into higher frequencies on the ladder of consciousness. Notice how the ego manifests in your life by asking and answering questions and practising the tools described in my next article, eradicating lack, attachment and control. Good luck. With lots of love and light,


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Vicky is an experienced holistic writer and coach who inspires, motivates, and encourages everyone to become the best version of themselves - physically, mentally, and spiritually.


The content of Awaken Happy Life is published for educational and informative purposes only. It does not substitute medical or any other professional advice. Please seek professional care if you believe you may have a condition. The author of Awaken Happy Life is not liable for any consequences of applying any piece of advice published on this website by the reader.


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