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Perfectionism? Tame It In 15 Simple Steps

Perfectionism is a plague in today's world. It causes procrastination and lots of stress. How can you get rid of this trait for good? I will show present you 15 efficient tools which you can apply instantly, all together or some of them.

Perfectionists will never reach the sunset standard


What Is Perfectionism?

I could give you a short definition, but this challenge is more complex than a dictionary definition. Here are the most common symptoms of perfectionism:

  • feeling like you fail at everything you try,

  • regular procrastination — you might resist starting a task because you are afraid of being unable to complete it perfectly,

  • struggling to relax and share your thoughts and feelings,

  • becoming very controlling in your personal and professional relationships,

  • becoming obsessed with rules, lists, and work, or alternately, becoming extremely apathetic.

Perfectionism may concern any area of life: your body (e.g. to look as young as possible), mind (e.g. to be a genius), emotions and soul (e.g. to pass the life tests given by the universe, to be flaw-free.)

In the Matrix, the mental, emotional and physical form of perfectionism is the most frequent, although religious doctrine also imposes us to be decent and follow the commandments established by a given religion.

Why Do We Suffer Perfectionism

When you come to this world, your mind is unconditioned and the memory of past incarnations is erased. However, as years pass by, your parents, family, later school and culture teach you to be perfect.

You need to receive the best grades at school and be the best to gain love and approval which is a kind of reward for your efforts.

Moreover, later this reward becomes your walk of life and financial status; the rat race amplifies the urge to be perfect. You forget that constant progress is more important than perfectionism.

Why Should You Stop It

Everything can be useful to some extent; we need to try to do the job as well as possible. However, perfectionism does not assume changes. You will never be perfect today because:

  • Everything changes and evolves in the Universe (check the Universal Law of Change). We change with age, being different as children and mature beings, there are cycles like the lunar and solar ones. You cannot be perfect in the same way during the summer and winter and today's climate changes make it even more difficult,

  • Today the Kaizen philosophy is applied. Just do something at a good standard but assume that it will be tested and improved if necessary, as the 2.0 version. Look at computer software, we update it all the time.

  • Our soul needs to test things and it often takes up more than one lifetime, so how can you be angry with yourself for the failures of living according to the values of Light?

Leaves may not look perfect

How To Stop Perfectionism

Now I will give you the formula which will help you to stop perfectionism. There are fifteen steps to follow. Even some of them implemented conscientiously will make you feel much better.

The formula that I will describe is mainly used in business and personal development. However, you can also use it for the spiritual aspect of your life, although then it will comprise more than one lifetime.

1. Define Your Goal

Perfectionism is like a challenge and your goal is to overcome it. Therefore, you need to set standards – the deadline, the measures, and the level of progress you want to make.

Setting these three things will set you free from perfectionism as you will not have to do the job ideally. So you can decide to take care of your body, aura and mind as well as possible but bear in mind that there will always be something to improve.

2. Define Smaller Goals

These are the goals of a lower standard, which will satisfy the minimum requirements applied to your primary targets.

For example, if you have decided not to eat junk food, be aware, that there might be temptations and sometimes you will fail. If you set a smaller goal “eat junk food no more than once per week”, you will not fail if it happens that you eat that food.

Read more about working with goals

3. Focus on What Is Needed

When you buy software, you focus on functionality, not a perfect design. The same applies to your goals.

Think of your tasks, like creating a website or writing a blog post, or even cooking dinner and answer the question, any time when you are tempted to be perfect:

What is needed, necessary for the customers, my family?

You will soon notice that the standards set yourself in each field of life do not have to be so high, and there are only a few issues which are important for your customers and family.

In the field of spirit, learn how to forgive yourself before trying to forgive the murderer of your child.

4. Separate Results From Judgement

The result is always neutral, but you can interpret it in many ways.

For some people a 3-course dinner served on the most modern crockery is perfect while you might rather think of how healthy the meal is, even if served on traditional crockery and which is only the two-course one.

Strive for the results that are best for you instead of being paralysed by fear of others' judgement. Eat and exercise for health and fitness, not for simple weight targets.

Also, many standards are imposed by society, some lobbies and religions and why do not necessarily have to be the right ones. The rat race in a corporation is a different kind of standard than those at the Tibetan monastery.

5. Set the Time Limit

Some things are never really finished, and you need to start doing them again soon. Let's say that you are cleaning the floor.

No matter how well you do it today, it will get just as muddy tomorrow when people forget to wipe their feet. Therefore, set a timer for a reasonable amount of time and clean for just that long instead of spending hours scrubbing.

The place will still become cleaner, and you will work faster and without obsessing over details.

Also, if you do not have your family over, the standards do not need to be so high. In the case of a longer or more detailed project, divide it into smaller chunks and set a deadline, which can get you started and keep you moving instead of worrying over details.

6. Use the 80/20 Principle

Pareto discovered that we spend only 20% of-of time or energy on the things which give us 80% of the outcome.

Therefore, you will find the tasks which are more important as they will bring you more benefits than others in any project to finish or goal to achieve. Look at the task or goal which you are supposed to pursue and decide what is crucial, giving you 80% of the outcome and start doing this task. As an exercise, take one of your weekly goals now and define what will bring you 80%:

7. Forgive Yourself for Your Shortcomings

Nobody is perfect; we are humans. Remember that apart from deficiencies; you also have strengths which you can always use to improve your performance.

Think of your latest goal and list all the skills which may help you to achieve it even better than so far. Choose three of them and write them down.

Learn how to forgive - the article continues below:

8. Remember That There Is No Right Way or Answer

If you are evaluated, it is always done subjectively. For example, you cannot possibly please everybody who reads your writing.

Never forget to follow your individual preferences to be original, even if keeping an audience in mind can help give your work direction.

From a holistic point of view, we are so unique and there are so many parallel systems in the world that we cannot measure the progress one way and say it is right or wrong.

9. Learn from Criticism

Even destructive criticism can teach you something. The next time you will show your work e more people will like it when you learn the lesson. Achieving acceptance often is only a step toward desired results.

Think of the last time you have been criticised. What could you learn from this criticism? Write it down.

10. Create a Training Environment

You will be able to make fewer mistakes sharpening your saw. Rehearse. Experiment. Practice. Do yourself a survey before the real test. When writing, prepare a rough draft. In this way, you will kill perfectionism and start to achieve remarkable goals, making huge progress.

Start this new approach right now and you will be surprised how fast your life will change. Always remember that it is one attempt, and you can always learn from the results.

11. Get Started

Even if you are not sure what you are doing, give it a try. Your first attempt may not get you anywhere, yet you may know what or who to ask to get going and also just discover what not to do.

Now think of this one thing in which you want to be perfect. Consider what you could do right now to gain bigger excellence in this area of your life.

12. Try a New Approach to the Task

The method you are using to work on your goals is not always the best.

It might also not always work so you might have some false starts which might discourage you. The more unusual and newer an activity you undertake, the more you will have to learn by trial and error.

Therefore, instead of blaming yourself for mistakes, try a new approach to work on your goal. Ask other people or learn what you might want to improve. If you are stuck at any of your goals, think about who you could ask for advice and what to improve. Write this information down.

13. Reflect on Your Failures

Failure is relative. Maybe your article had some semantic mistakes and the linguists have noticed them, but most of the readers have not noticed anything at all and what is even more, have given you some positive comments.

You probably know more about what went in than other people. Remember that whoever benefited from your work cares more about the result than the process.

14. Treat Failure as an Opportunity To Be a Better Person

We often live with the feeling of "I am not good enough." It is another symptom of perfectionism. However, there is no such thing as you are good at or excellent at something.

Just listen to your heart's desire and do the job which you enjoy. You are "enough" just as you are.

15. Reflect on Your Success

Think about something you have done or made which was successful. It may not have been perfect, but you have achieved an objective.

Which of the successful methods that you have used, could you apply to your next projects?


Broaden your awareness and cleanse your aura from perfectionism.

Let's meditate together

Connect by telepathy during meditation on Saturdays at 8 pm GMT. I will meditate with you and other people so that our joint energy can create miracles. Send your intention to the Universe. Transform your life and the world.

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In A Nutshell

Today you have learnt the fifteen ways of stopping perfectionism. Do not hesitate and try them today. Good luck. With lots of love and light,



Vicky is an experienced holistic writer and coach that inspires, motivates, and encourages everyone to become the best version of themselves - physically, mentally, and spiritually.


The content of Awaken Happy Life is published for educational and informative purposes only. It does not substitute medical or any other professional advice. Please seek professional care if you believe you may have a condition. The author of Awaken Happy Life is not liable for any consequences of applying any advice published on this website by the reader.


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