Complainers can make your life miserable. You have probably met at least one of them in your life. What to do, to protect yourself from their negative impact on your life?
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"What we need to do is always lean into the future; when the world changes around you and when it changes against you - what used to be a tailwind is now a headwind - you have to lean into that and figure out what to do because complaining isn't a strategy."
Jeff Bezos
Who Is a Complainer
Let me give you a definition of a complainer. It is simple but we might have to explore the fact a bit more. In the shortest, a complainer is a person who is not happy about something and therefore, complains.
Being a complainer presents the attitude of victims, he/she does not act himself/herself but shifts the responsibility to someone else or the circumstances. We can handle complainers in many ways.
Some of these methods work and some do not. Let's start with the methods which fail to work.
Methods That Do Not Work
Before you even start taking the challenge of handling complainers, learn what does not work. Then you will avoid unnecessary pitfalls. What does not work? There are five ways in which you should not approach complainers:
1. Cheering the Complainers Up
You might have good intentions and try to solve their problems, cheering the complainers up.
However, remember that they do not need your encouragement because complaining gives them a lot of benefits, such as being noticed, passing their problems on to other people and having a reason for not taking life in their hands.
Why It Does Not Help Complainers
They are full of negativity and the truth is that if you do not want to change your life yourself, no one will do it. Cheering up a complainer may work for a minute, but since the problem has not been solved at least some action has been taken, a negative attitude will return.
Moreover, complainers may deny that there is any solution or that they can be happy. You are just wasting your energy.
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2. Suggesting Solutions
This approach also does not work. Why? Because complainers are not willing to act. They are pretending to do something with the problems described to other people. However, you may repeat your suggestions many times, and there will be no result - complaining will continue endlessly.
Why It Does Not Help Complainers
Again, this method does not work because complainers will not apply your advice. You are just wasting your precious energy, which could have been used for creating wonderful things in your life. Moreover, complainers may even feel insulted by the kind of help you may offer them.
3. Telling Them to Act
For complainers, acting means… complaining. Then they can gain compassion and attention but without the need to solve their problems. Also, this kind of person does not tolerate the pressure of any sort. Therefore, telling them what to do will never work.
Why It Does Not Help Complainers
No one likes nagging or preaching and some people like helping others in this way. Avoid advising complainers if you see that they are not interested in your tips, showing it by their body language. It is not worth the trouble to become frustrated because of complainers' ignorance.
4. Complaining About Them
It is probably the worst way of handling people who complain too much. Doing so, you manifest an infection with their attitude. You pass the ball to another decent person who will "solve" the problem. But they will not do it. Remember that people who complain show that their life is out of control.
Why It Does Not Help Complainers
This way of communication brings you to nothing. Frustration, anger, misunderstandings and conflicts are inevitable and lots of negativity is being created. You do not need that. And if you complain about anything, the time has come to change your attitude and take responsibility for your life.
5. Ignoring Totally
You can pretend that there are no complainers and that they do not affect your life. Yet the truth is different. Just assuming that there are no complainers will cause you will be influenced by them, even if you do not want it. Ignore the people who complain but in a smart way. How? I will tell you in the next part of this post.
Why It Does Not Help Complainers
The total ignorance strategy could work because by applying it you cut off the negative energy. However, it is better to use some of the techniques below to show the complainer your understanding and support in a wise way but cut off at the same time.
How To Handle Complainers
Now I will show you the methods which will help you to handle complainers. There will be four most efficient tips which you can use.
1. Cut Contact
The simplest way is to tell that you don't have the time for conversation. Notice that people who complain usually like to chat - either in real life or online, e.g., on Facebook. When you start ignoring their messages or invitations to meet, after some time, the complainers will stop bothering you.
A note of caution. It may be challenging to use this technique with family and close friends. Use it wisely in these cases and try the remaining three tools, described in this article.
Cutting contact is important from the energy management point of view. As I have written above, you do not need anyone or anything that wastes your physical, emotional mental and spiritual resources. It is not egoism.
To share your resources with others, create and help, you need to be strong and healthy, in all areas of life. For example, you cannot go to work with a broken leg, negotiate while emotionally imbalanced, take a test during a panic attack or heal people with a weak aura. They need to be healed, balanced and strong to enable you the efficiently give way.
2. Use Ignorance Technique
You have already read that ignorance of people who complain can be done smartly. Then you do not deny that the problem does not exist and that those people have good intentions.
Instead, you actively let them know that their words have no impact on you. Use the broken record technique. Whenever a complainer says something, paraphrase their words and say:
"I know that it is painful/difficult etc., but what action will you take to solve the problem?"
Eventually, the complainer will be so fed up with this question that he/she will seek someone else to continue the victim's conversation. be prepared for accusations, anger, and emotional attacks, especially when you use this technique when talking to a family member.
Then, do your best to control your thoughts and emotions and cleanse your aura immediately after such a destructive encounter.
To be more immune to energetic attacks of any kind, learn these skills before even meeting a complainer in your life:
how to remove energetic hooks
how to manage emotions
how to eliminate negative thoughts
how to protect from negative energy attacks
how to fix energy leaks (see link above)
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3. Tell Them That Other People Suffer Even More
You can also tell the people who complain that your problem is even bigger than they seem, or others are in a worse situation. For example, if someone complains about money, draw their attention to homeless people or those in wheelchairs.
Again, be prepared to face a huge amount of negativity and use the pieces of advice listed for the previous method. Work on your assertiveness and eliminate guilt. Develop inner strength.
4. Cut Off from Their Negative Energy
Complainers can also attack you with thoughts that may be intrusive and very disempowering. Also, remember that a complainer has got low vibrations. Hence, you need to protect your aura and stay on high frequency at all costs. Then complainers will not even dare to approach you. Do it in the following ways:
securing energy leaks
praying
meditating
strengthening your aura
raising the vibrations of your house
raising your vibrations
practising gratitude
In a Nutshell
Today you have learnt the four ways of handling complainers: smartly ignoring them, protecting yourself, showing that other people suffer more and cutting contact. I have also described the ways that do not work. Your life will change dramatically when you apply the pieces of advice placed in this article. Good luck and stay tuned to my blog. With lots of love and light,
Vicky
About
Vicky is an experienced holistic writer and coach who inspires, motivates, and encourages everyone to become the best version of themselves - physically, mentally, and spiritually.
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