We know that negative thoughts are hazardous to our happy life. But some of these thoughts are extremely destructive. Learn which ones and how to cope with them.
How Negative Thoughts Affect Your Life
My today's article is inspired by David Burns, the author of "Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy." he teaches the techniques of analysing negative thoughts, calling them distorted so you are able to disarm and defeat them.
I will not repeat all that he teaches in his famous book. However, it is an interesting classification of thoughts that I can be challenged and disarmed.
Before that, for those who disbelieve in the power of negative thoughts, let me remind you that thinking is subject to Universal Laws. Let me mention some of them (these are not all the laws that have an impact on your life):
The Law of Cause and Effect - what you sow you will reap,
The Law of Focus - what you dwell on, grows,
The Law of Attraction - you will attract the outcome of your thoughts,
The Law of Correspondence - your luck in the Universe depends on your inner world of thoughts and emotions.
Meet the 10 Kinds of Negative Thoughts
I need to point out here that one negative thought may belong to some of the categories described below. However, most of the methods of eliminating these thoughts are efficient in the case of each, even the nastiest thinking pattern.
1. All-Or-Nothing Negative Thoughts
This type of thinking is typical for a dual world, present on Earth. You look at things in absolute, black-and-white categories. We do not see the grey shades.
Although you cannot classify cruelty as the Light, even this kind of behaviour serves something, e, g learning forgiveness. The "all-or-nothing " thoughts often appear together with judging people and other beings.
Example: People are cruel.
2. Overgeneralization
You perceive everything in one of two categories "always" or "never". There is no "sometimes".
However, the Universal law of Change obviously indicates that nothing is always the same. Even each lunar cycle may be different, despite having the same phases.
Example: He is always late.
3. Mental Filter
You dwell on the negatives and ignore the positives. And according to the Law of Focus, the vicious spiral has no end.
Remove the spectacles of black focus. Moreover, you can focus on one negative aspect without noticing a different perspective. This kind of negative thought is often found together with overgeneralization.
Example: It is dangerous to walk on the beach alone.
4. Discounting the Positives
You insist that your accomplishments or positive qualities don’t count. This is like seeing negativity in everything but used in a bit different context.
For example, you find it hard to accept compliments and acknowledge your achievements. This type of thought also goes in hand with overgeneralization, labelling or mental filter.
Example: I must have been lucky as I cannot write a book.
5. Jumping to the Conclusion
You conclude things are bad without any definite evidence. These include mind-reading (assuming that people are reacting negatively to you) and fortune-telling (predicting that things will turn out badly).
In both cases, these thought patterns are incorrect. Why? Because today we still cannot read other people's minds in most cases (only a few, with special potential, have got this skill) although it will be available in the future.
Fortune-telling, in turn, is based on past experiences replayed in the future while the truth is that the future is created by present actions, thoughts and words, not by predicting things in unknown reality.
Examples: I will not pass this test. (fortune-telling) He will fire me because of my delayed report. (mind-reading)
6. Magnification or Minimization of Negative Thoughts
You blow things way out of proportion, or you shrink their importance. It is widespread in the case of domestic violence and toxic relationships. For example, you can minimize the fact of being name-called, beaten, or slapped and magnify the good deeds the abuser has done for you.
This type of negative thought is often found together with discounting the positive or mental filter. The difference is that mental filtering and discounting the positive assume no positivity, while in the case of magnification or minimalization there is some.
Example: My university degree was a stroke of luck…really, it was.
7. Emotional Reasoning
You reason for how you feel. To some extent, it is true as if you can hear something many times you start projecting his words. But it is up to you how you perceive yourself.
Also, emotional reasoning makes sense as your thoughts and emotions are bound together. Why? Because emotional responses are there result of some thoughts and thoughts are induced by emotions. The time has come to break this vicious circle.
Example: I feel like an idiot, so I must be one.
8. “Should” Statements
You criticize yourself or other people with “shoulds,” “shouldn't,” “musts,” “oughts,” and “have-to.” The truth is that you do not have to or should not. You can choose. You/It could be, happen etc. "Should" or "have to" imply slavery, "can" and "could" - freedom.
Example: I should/have to always be available for my family and friends.
9. Labelling
Instead of saying, “I made a mistake,” you tell yourself, “I’m a jerk” or “I’m a loser.” This type of thinking is the symptom of destructive criticism, installed by your parents, teachers, boss or partner.
The problem with labels is that the person (or even yourself) does not know the whole truth and that there are exceptions. You are not always a jerk and also this word is very negative. Read the rest of this article to learn how to replace "jerk".
Example: I am a jerk.
10. Negative Thoughts of Blaming
You blame yourself for something you weren’t entirely responsible for, or you blame other people and overlook ways that you contributed to a problem. Instead of blaming, learn.
Blaming often goes hand in hand with "should" statements, labelling and mental filter. It is triggered by guilt, shame, and self-criticism.
Example: It is my fault that our marriage ended with divorce.
Learn how to deal with guilt
The Solutions for All Negative Thoughts
Now the time has come to answer the question again: How to eradicate these ten types of negative thoughts?
1. Question Them
I will give you some examples of questions which you may use to disarm negative thoughts and their destructive energy:
All-Or Nothing
What is the other option in between available for me?”
How true is the all-or-nothing scenario?
Overgeneralisation
Can you find the cases when you/he/she behaved differently ...? (define the "always/never" activity)
When was the last time you have ... done the "always/never" thing differently?
Mental Filter
What would other people (especially your best friends) say?
Are you sure that there is no positive aspect of this situation?
Discounting the Positive
How do I know it is only luck and not your skills, hard work ?”
Jumping To Conclusion
How certain are you that ... (your thought)?
Magnification
What would your friend say then?
Is it so important/unimportant?”
Emotional Reasoning:
How do I know that I feel like ... (e.g., an idiot)?
Who has said that (apart from my mom/boss)?
Is it true?
Shoulds
Will anything collapse if you do not do something? How sure are you of it?
What will be the worst thing then and is it really a disaster?
Labelling
But is it true?
When are you NOT a jerk?
What does it mean to be a jerk?
What would other people say then – would they (your friends) agree?
Blaming
Who said that it is your fault?
What would your friend say?
2. Use Snippets
These are short statements which you say aloud or an in your mind immediately when a negative thought of any kind emerges. Here are some examples:
Stop it! I ‘don’t think in this way anymore.
That's not mine.
Go away (where you have come from)!
No blaming/ shoulds/labelling etc.!
(Go) to the Light/Fire!
3. Put Them in The Bin and Burn
I have written an article on how to put negative thoughts in the bin (and burn them with the Purple Light). Study it carefully. In the shortest, visualise a big bin or even better - a furnace where all unwanted, negative thoughts will be dumped and burnt.
4. Rewrite Them
When you eradicate negative thoughts by writing, they are cleared better as your subconscious mind is involved. Here are the examples from today's article with alternatives to these thoughts:
Negative Thought
People are cruel.
He is always late.
It is dangerous to walk on the beach alone.
I must have been lucky as I cannot write a book.
I will not pass this test. (fortune-telling)
He will fire me because of my delayed report. (mind-reading)
My university degree was a stroke of luck…really, it was.
I feel like an idiot, so I must be one.
I am a jerk.
Alternative statements for negative thoughts
It is my fault that our marriage ended with divorce. People may be cruel but everything has its purpose.
He is late on Monday mornings once per month because of drowsiness.
It may be dangerous to walk on the beach alone but not during the daytime and most people find it safe anyway.
I have worked hard to write this book so that it must become successful.
It is very probable that I will pass the test because of conscientious studying, and my belief in myself.
I am not sure if one missed deadline is a disaster, and I can always improve my performance in the future.
My university degree is the result of my hard work and skills.
I feel incompetent in this case, but I usually handle my life very well.
I am argumentative from time to time but working on my behaviour.
I have done my best to save our marriage but sometimes divorces happen.
5. Work with your emotions
If you blame yourself for saying something which made another person angry, forgive yourself. You do not always have an influence on the situation. But then you can take two conclusions – what to do differently and what not to do the next time. Good luck.
6. Join Meditation
Connect by telepathy during meditation on Saturdays at 8 pm GMT. I will meditate with you and other people so that our joint energy can create miracles. Send your intention to the Universe. Transform your life and the world.
More about meditation
In A Nutshell
I am aware that working on automatic thoughts is not easy. I agree with Dr Burns that the best method to question automatic negative thoughts is regular writing, naming, and questioning them. Also do not forget to burn your thoughts mentally, not only the used-up pieces of paper. Good luck with keeping your mind negativity-free. With lots of love and light,
Vicky
About
Vicky is an experienced holistic writer and coach that inspires, motivates, and encourages everyone to become the best version of themselves - physically, mentally, and spiritually.
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The content of Awaken Happy Life is published for educational and informative purposes only. It does not substitute medical or any other professional advice. Please seek professional care if you believe you may have a condition. The author of Awaken Happy Life is not liable for any consequences of applying any piece of advice published on this website by the reader.