8 Proven Tools for Disarming the Worst Inner Critic and Be Happy
Self-criticism is very common in our society. However, your inner critic is always neglected and unnoticed. Yet when you cope with it, your life will change dramatically. Learn how to disarm your inner critic.8-proven-tools-for-disarming-the-worst-inner-critic-and-be-happy.
Who Is Your Inner Critic
The inner critic or "critical inner voice" is a concept used in popular psychology and psychotherapy to refer to a subpersonality that judges and demeans a person. To make it simpler, the inner critic is usually an inner voice attacking a person, saying that he or she is bad, wrong, stupid, inadequate, worthless, guilty etc.
Can you notice the statements that often haunt your mind?
“I'm an idiot,”
“I can't get anything right,”
“I'm not good enough to…”
These are not all examples. Moreover, these statements are easily used against other people, too. Therefore, it is very important to cope with inner criticism. More about making the inventory of self-criticism is below in this article.
Why To Disarm Your Inner Critic
Disarming inner critic implies some work and not everyone likes it. However, before you resign, look at the benefits of overcoming your inner critic:
- Higher self-esteem.
- More self-love.
- Closing your karma.
- Self-acceptance and therefore less stress.
- Happier and healthier relationships.
- Health improvement - less stress accelerates healing.
- More friends and helpful people around.
How To Disarm Your Inner Critic
Many psychologists, on an everyday basis, help people to disarm inner critics on a mental level. Here is an example piece of advice:
Turn down the volume of your negative inner voice and create a nurturing inner voice to take its place. When you make a mistake, forgive yourself, learn from it, and move on instead of obsessing about it. Equally important, don’t allow anyone else to dwell on your mistakes or shortcomings or to expect perfection from you.”
1. Identify Your Inner Critic
No enemy can be disarmed without meeting its strengths and weaknesses. Learn where your inner critic comes from and what kind of damage it does in your life. Let's start with the consequences of self-criticism.
1.1. Fears and Insecurities
They are the fruit of your inner critic. If it says that you are unworthy, so fears of rejection and failure will instantly emerge. The "should" statements generate even more fear. You actually sent out the thoughts imposed on you by the external world.
1.2. Negative Being
Inner critic induces the vicious circle of negative thoughts and emotions. "Being" means the negative itself, created by negative thoughts and emotions. later learnt as habitual behaviour. Then self-criticism creates even more destruction: you start to be stressed, tense (for example body reactions) and behave with less self-confidence, assertiveness and attract negative people and circumstances to your life. As inner critic attacks your mind, other negative thoughts are generated, firing and wiring destructive energy (e.g. stress hormones - adrenaline) and eventually poisoning your whole aura.
1.3. Parental Conditioning
Now learn where your inner critic comes from. Your parents have injected it into your mind. All destructive reproaches diminishing your value, punishments (even if only verbal), emotional blackmail, manipulation with guilt and the cases of unconditional love have taken their toll. Now you do not have to think consciously to consider yourself as an unworthy person - your brain does it automatically.
1.4. Society, Media and Religion
As a child, later you have also been exposed to the influence of society, religion and media. Think of relations where you were named "a sinner", had no free will to choose a religion and had to be "good" to avoid punishment. Commercials and cartoons have taught you social roles and how to manage the rat race. School is especially harmful as teachers could chagrin you by public humiliation. Plus, you always compared yourself with your peers. Thes same happened later at work. Think of your boss and co-workers. Also, your community and further family can induce self-criticism.
1.5. Own Experiences
Then you start your job and first relationships with the opposite sex. Again, if your inner critic has already been installed, you attract the places and people which generate destructive criticism. And it empowers your inner critic. Moreover, you might start acting according to the critical thoughts and the vicious circle continues.
Be aware that this thought process is separate from your real point of view and that your critical inner voice is not a reflection of reality. Instead, it is a viewpoint you adopted based on negative early life experiences and attitudes directed toward you, later internalized as your point of view. When you make a mistake, you will probably notice your inner critic.
Write down some of your critical voices. Pay attention to them while doing this task. Choose five critical statements in the second person, e.g 'you are an idiot. Then go to the next point of coping with your inner critic and disarm them. How?
2. Question the Self-Critical Statements
Make an effort to focus on checking when your inner critic gets into a shouting match with reason, and self-doubt begins to bubble over reality. Then disarm the critic. Choose one of the critical statements which you have written down a minute ago and answer the questions listed below:
- What dies "idiot" exactly mean?
- Have I been "an idiot" all the time? Are there any exceptions?
- What’s the worst thing that could happen?
- How likely is it happen?
- What is the evidence for that critical statement? (list five things that support your inner critic and five that question it.
- Will this matter in five years' time?
- Is this situation as bad as I’m making it out to be?
- What could the inner critic be trying to protect me from?
- What triggers my inner critic saying that I am "an idiot"?
- What would I say to a friend who talks to me in the same situation? Would I say "I'm an idiot"?
- If there is any truth in what the inner critic says, what can I do to improve or move forward?
It is lots of questions, isn't it? You do not need to answer all of them, especially when you do not have enough time to analyse your critical voices. But spend some time regularly, preferably daily for the first week, to analyse your inner critic. Start from the critical voice that is the most frequent and/or the most destructive.
3. Work With Your subconscious Mind
Your thoughts are often generated by the subconscious mind. It does not only contain all experiences from this life but also from past incarnations. it might have happened in the past that you have been criticised in a similar situation. What to do then? Say to your subconscious mind:
DEAR SUBCONSCIOUS MIND, STOP THIS RECORD, I AM A DIFFERENT PERSON NOW.
To transform your subconsciousness thoroughly, use prayers
More articles about the subconscious mind
4. Work With Your Emotions
Your subconscious mind also has a deep impact on your emotions, producing chemicals that can generate stress or serenity. Let's say that it has generated a thought "I'm an idiot" because you forgot your medical insurance going to the doctor.
You start beating yourself, generating even more similar thoughts and your body fires and wires adrenaline into the bloodstream. This in turn generates negative emotions like anger which may influence the results of your medical examination, e.g. your blood pressure test. If you do not stop this vicious circle, stress will become permanent and indeed, it will generate an illness of any kind because your body has no time for regeneration.
The solution? Work both with your thoughts and emotions.
5. Write Down the More Realistic and Compassionate Evaluation of Yourself
Take your diary again. At the top of a given page, write down your critical thought. For example, "You are an idiot". You can also add when it happens (situation). Now disarm the critic. Write a sentence below, starting with "I" and containing exceptions. Moreover, instead of writing about "idiot" mention something positive about yourself. For example:
"I may struggle at times, but I am smart and competent in many ways (you can mention when and specify in what way)”.
6. Consider Yourself As The Wonder Of The Universe
Yes, we forget about our uniqueness and that God created us as wonders, no matter how many flaws are in our personality. Even those who commit the most severe crimes are wonders, they just want to experience what evil is and then face the karma created by their acts. Absurd? In a dualistic world - yes. However, from the spiritual point of view, we want to experience new things, we can choose and evil also has its way to evolving on this planet.
The Universe is not critical like your inner voice. It may send you a gift of a challenging situation, generated by your soul plan or current karma but directly the Universe will never tell you "an idiot".
Why are you a wonder? Here are some reasons:
- Your mind is brilliant, able to create reality and transform the world.
- You were a wonderr since birth. Later your parents and community has taught you to think in a different way.
- You have the potentials (clairvoyance, telepathy etc.), able to change even the thoughts of other beings.
- Other beings admire your greatness, even those who spread negativity, being jealous of your skills.
For the next 7 days, rewrite the positive statements, the alternatives to your critical words or thoughts in your diary, each of them 3 times. In this way, you will reprogram your subconscious mind and start treating yourself and others with bigger respect which will improve your relationships and your own performance.
7. Avoid Acting On The Directives Of Your Inner Critic
Instead, manifest the empowering statements in your life. For example in the case of “I might not be good at Maths, but I am excellent as a writer” become a journalist, write a book or start a blog. Your critical inner voice may become louder, telling you not to take chances or follow the herd and become a mediocre person. You will grow stronger by identifying, separating from, and acting against this destructive thought process.
8. Use Meditation
Meditating will help you with dissolving critical thoughts and negative emotions generated by the chemicals produced by the brain. Under a waterfall, cleanse yourself from all negativity. Also, you will be able to discover your strength and greatness. Other beings will appreciate you as a wonder.
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In a Nutshell
Summing up. It is possible to stop criticizing yourself. You just need some discipline and determination to achieve this goal. Create a new habit to find alternatives for any critical thoughts and words. You also need to change the beliefs which generate self-criticism, e.g. I'm not good enough. You can do it by reading my posts about beliefs, thoughts and emotions and doing the exercises described here. Good luck