10 Things to Forgive Yourself for in Life
The ability to forgive is a must in holistic growth. But many people forget about self-forgiveness. Learn why and what to let go of yourself.
What Does It Mean "Forgive Yourself"?
Self-forgiveness means that you accept your behaviour, what has happened, being willing to move past it and move on with your life without ruminating over past events that cannot be changed.
Forgive yourself. The supreme act of forgiveness is when you can forgive yourself for all the wounds you’ve created in your own life. Forgiveness is an act of self-love. When you forgive yourself, self-acceptance begins and self-love grows.
We all make mistakes, don’t we? But if you can’t forgive yourself, you’ll always be an exile in your own life.
I think that if God forgives us we must forgive ourselves. Otherwise, it is almost like setting up ourselves as a higher tribunal than him.
C. S. Lewis
Self-forgiveness assumes some work and not everyone likes regular exercises, the same as in the case of keeping fit your physical body. However, there are many benefits of practising self-forgiveness. let me mention a few:
1. You Will Achieve More Goals In Life
Self-forgiveness improves productivity - Research has shown that those who practice this skill have better mental and emotional well-being, more positive attitudes and healthier relationships. A related outcome ties self-compassion with higher levels of success, productivity, focus and concentration.
2. Better Health
Living a life full of grudge and negative self-criticism is like living a life believing that there is a looming hammer over our heads waiting to drop down at any moment. When we release ourselves and no longer feel like we are going to be punished spontaneously and brutally, that throbbing worry is eliminated and live a life of freedom.
We can’t give what we don’t have. In the same way that we are guaranteed to make mistakes, those with who we have relationships will make mistakes as well. We can forgive others once we forgive ourselves, and that results in healing and peace.
Learn how to take care of your health - the article continues below:
3. You Will Be Happier
We are all human, which means that we all make mistakes. It’s inevitable. Some say that the only things that are certain in life are death and taxes, but I am going to add one more lifetime guarantee: screwing up. We will all have to forgive ourselves at some point for making a mistake, doing something wrong, being human, and simply screwing up.
“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is an attribute of the strong.”
4. Your Karma Will Close Quicker
We don’t always need to be strong, but we always need to be growing which should never stop. And, I think that’s what Gandhi meant in this quote. By constantly growing, we can achieve our goals and create a life that we love. And karma is one of the opportunities to grow.
If you forgive yourself, it will be easier to close your karma/ Why? because then it will be easier to forgive any being and you will accept, understand yourself and others better. Self-forgiveness will also help you to close the duality program.
5. Less Negativity In Your Life
Self-forgiveness also implies fewer negative thoughts and emotions. Your inner critic is less active because you are not self-beating and blaming yourself for past mistakes. This induces less negative thoughts and, eventually, emotions. Therefore, you will attract more positive things to your life because your general thinking and reactions will become more positive.
10 Things To Forgive Yourself
Why 10 and not 100 or 1000? Firstly, I would not like to overload you with work which may be hard. Secondly, fewer examples will give you the inspiration to dig deeper.
1. Forgive Your Wrong Decisions
How many times has it happened that after you had made a decision you were beating up yourself? Unfortunately, in most cases, we are not able to predict everything, because everything can change unexpectedly within a second. At this point in time, you had made the best decision according to your knowledge and good judgement. Another reason to forgive yourself for the decisions made is that you are never able to predict the real consequences in the long run. It is enough to look outside and see what Mother Earth is doing with the weather.
2. Forgive Things Undone To Others
Sometimes you do not keep your promise and fail to do things for other people. It may be a big deal. However, from time to time you cannot help your acts. I do not support laziness and negligence. I assume that you made your biggest effort but eventually failed to meet the promise.
3. Forgive Wrongs Done By Your Words
This is one of the hardest categories because words said only once cause everlasting damage if they hurt. The other person may forgive you, but the pain and scars will remain. Yet it does not mean that you should punish yourself for ages. It is enough that you will bear the consequences (or have born them already as karma), so there is no point dwelling on this act anymore. Just learn not to repeat the same mistakes in the future.
4. Forgive Wrongs Done By Your Deeds
It was obvious since this world has been created. We are lucky enough that at least in Europe, the “eye-for-eye” rule is not applied anymore. Therefore, you also have the right to forgive yourself. You will face the consequences and karma, but apart from that, there is no point in dwelling on what you have done.
Suppose that you have quit drinking. Yet looking back, you still can see the damage done to your family and friends at times of heavy addiction. Now you have to face remorse and guilt. But you know what? No one is perfect. The drinking chapter is closed now so there is no point dwelling for too long what you used to do.
Perfectionism may flood everything: your work, relationships, children… However, we HAVE THE RIGHT to make mistakes. Learning is a natural way of growing. Think of the time you were learning to walk. How many times have you fallen before mastering this skill? The same rule applies to relationships, you are learning from each of them.
Learn how to work with your relationships - the article continues below:
7. Forgive Yourself Judging People Unfairly
If you said something or someone saw your disapproving body language and then your judgement was unfair… you have something to forgive yourself. You do not know the whole picture only the tip of the iceberg. So apologise, face the consequences forgive yourself and stop judging.
8. Disarm Your Destructive Self-Criticism And Being Too Critical To Others
Constructive criticism is necessary to see the areas of life which need improvement. Unfortunately, more often criticism is destructive. Moreover, you have a very strict self-critic in your head which can often paralyse your life or can criticise others destructively. And that is the thing you need to forgive yourself when your criticism was unreasonable and hurt someone.
9. Forgive Your Lost Hopes and Dreams
You have opportunities all the time in our life. Yet sometimes the earthy life brings you down, killing the hopes and dreams you may have. This leads to resignation from something great because of fear, lack of money, helplessness. It is true that some opportunities are missed forever and will not come back, but in the long run, you might see the benefits of not taking these opportunities.
10. Forgive Your Lack of Self-Respect
This is a very serious “crime” in personal and spiritual development. Lack of self-respect is usually manifested by lack of assertiveness, negligence and some other factors. It happens when you have resigned from reprimanding someone who was doing you wrong or in the case when you had no courage to stand up for yourself. Your r body and soul also can be neglected for example, by addictions and low vibrations.
Learn how to forgive - the article continues below:
Meditating will help you to release all that blocks self-forgiveness. While staying at the waterfall, all negativity will be cleansed and, therefore, it will be easier to forgive. Then you can also ask God, angels, Jesus or Mary to help you with self-forgiveness.
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In a Nutshell
Today you have learnt why and what to forgive yourself. Better health, more happiness, closed karma and less negativity in your life are the main reasons for self-forgiveness. You need to forgive yourself past decisions, relationships, mistakes, lack of self-respect and all the wrongs done to any being. Good luck with self-forgiveness.