People often say that it is difficult to let go of anger and bitterness. Hence, today I will give you a recipe for solving this problem.
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What Are Anger and Bitterness
Before I show you how to deal with anger and bitterness, let's understand these terms properly.
Anger
Anger is an emotion characterized by antagonism toward someone or something you feel has deliberately done you wrong. It signalises that someone or yourself has crossed and reached your boundaries, like entering strange territory.
Yet if channelled properly, anger can be a good thing. It can give you a way to express negative feelings, for example, or motivate you to find solutions to problems. But excessive anger can cause problems and I will be writing about how to cope with it.
Bitterness
In other words, resentment and ranklement is
"...a complex, multi-layered emotion- rather than one of Ekman's six basic emotions." - Wikipedia
These emotions have been described as a mixture of disappointment, anger and fear. Other related emotions include disgust, sadness, surprise, and the perception of injustice, such as envy and spleen.
Further, Wikipedia states that "Resentment can be triggered by an emotionally disturbing experience felt again or relived in the mind, and is a compound emotion (including cognitive elements) elicited in the face of insult and/or injury." To make things simpler, I will call resentment "bitterness" in this post.
How To Let Go of Anger And Bitterness In Five Steps
There are five steps which you need to follow in order to let go of anger and bitterness. They are the same for both of these emotions.
1. Take Responsibility for Your Life
When being angry, you focus on what someone else did that was wrong, which essentially gives away your power. According to the Law of Focus, what you dwell on grows.
Therefore, change your mindset and put on different glasses, the ones which show only the things that you can do better. Then instead of thinking about how badly you were hurt; your energy will be used for more productive purposes.
Further reading about the mind:
2. Choose an Option
Remind yourself these are your only three options: remove yourself from the situation, change it, or accept it. We exclude the first one and become proactive. While focusing on changing the situation, your brain releases endorphins and you become motivated to do something.
However, sometimes you just cannot change e.g., your parents so you need to accept them as they are. Of course, then you also need to act - learn how to look differently at them and how to channel your anger and bitterness.
3. Feel Anger and Bitterness Fully
Be aware that stifling your feelings, may leak out and affect everyone around you, the people who have not deserved negativity and are innocent. I do not suggest being angry all the time and losing control, but channelling in a positive, safe way.
4. Give Yourself a Rant Window
Let yourself vent for a day before confronting the person who troubled you. This may diffuse the hostility and give you time to plan a rational confrontation.
There are some effective ways of feeling and releasing anger and bitterness:
Writing
Take a piece of paper and write down what you are feeling, even weeping, or shouting at the same time. When you finish, tear the sheet of paper, and burn or shred it.
I often use affirmations and it works very well. Here are the examples:
I ….. (YOUR NAME) LET ANGER/BITTERNESS GO NOW I ….. (YOUR NAME) DISSOLVE ANGER/BITTERNESS RIGHT NOW
Go out and play some sport where kicking and throwing are involved. For example, you can try any kind of -ball: basketball, volleyball, football, American football, tennis, and badminton. Brisk walking and swimming are also beneficial. Throwing pillows on the bed or even in the air, imagining a held object also works.
Shouting And Singing
Go out to the forest, to an empty space and cry your anger as loud as you can. Singing a rock song is another option so joining a music group or going to a concert.
Wear the Rubber
Wear a rubber band on your wrist and gently flick it when you start obsessing over angry thoughts. This way, you will train your mind to associate that type of persistent negativity with something unpleasant.
Visualise
Metaphorically throw it away. I will give you one example: briskly jog with a backpack full of tennis balls. Build up a bit of rush, and then toss the balls one by one, labelling each as a part of your anger.
You can also have a shower and visualise how your anger is being flushed down to the pipe with water. Imagine that all the burdens and heavy loads are letting go forever.
Confront the Wrongdoer
If possible, express your anger to the person who offended you because communication of your feelings may help you move on. Be aware, however, that you cannot control how the wrongdoer responds.
Be prepared for aggression and denial. Remember that you can only control how clearly and kindly you express yourself.
5. Consider These Two Facts
It is important to consider two important facts which I will describe below:
Put Yourself in the Offender's Shoes
You never know the whole picture, the exact context of why someone has breached your boundaries. We all make mistakes. It also often happens that the offender was angry with someone else or just could not cope with their feelings, throwing them at you.
Sometimes people who are ill, and take medications which increase aggression. Yet remember that you always have the right to assert yourself.
Anger Hurts You More Than the Wrongdoer
Be aware of your precious energy and never waste it on negativity. Remember that the offender has hurt you once while you often ruminate on the act, hurting yourself again a million more times. Therefore, visualize your anger melting away as an act of kindness to yourself.
Today you have learnt how to let go of anger and bitterness in five steps. You need to take responsibility for your reaction, choose change or acceptance and use a way of dissolving anger or bitterness. The best ways include writing, singing, shouting, and playing -ball sports.
Meditation
Use meditation as a powerful tool to cleanse the negativity of bitterness and heal your emotional wounds.
Let's meditate together
Connect by telepathy during meditation on Saturdays at 8 pm GMT. I will meditate with you and other people so that our joint energy can create miracles. Send your intention to the Universe. Transform your life and the world.
More about meditation
In a Nutshell
Anger and bitterness can teach you a lot, but they are not worth the trouble in the long run. Tame them through physical activity, meditation, and mental techniques. Good luck. With lots of love and light,
Vicky
About
Vicky is an experienced holistic writer and coach that inspires, motivates, and encourages everyone to become the best version of themselves - physically, mentally, and spiritually.
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